Photography and Travel Taking Your Camera on the Road

The Power of Choice

Summary of Life Makeover meeting May 9, 2002

Every step of the way, you are making choices. The smallest decision you make in your day may effect the outcome of the day and your life. Most of us have had one of those "near-miss" moments in our life where we just avoid stepping off the curb to be hit by a speeding vehicle or some other catastrophe missed by the luck of the draw, fate, kismet, or whatever you may call it. As a victim of being hit by a truck, I know that during the many moments leading up to the accident, I could have been delayed or hesitated in such a way as to have avoided the moment. How many of our smallest decisions affect the path of our life? We spend a lot of energy confronting what we think are the biggest life decisions when the smallest can be just as powerful. Understanding the power of choice means looking at all the ways choice influences our life.

We first examined what goes into the process of making a decision. What are the elements, skills, behaviors, attitudes, and concepts associated with decision-making?

Decision-making Elements - What Does It Take?

courage, risk, time, energy, money, trust, advice, desire, conflict, support, integrity, moral values, religion, agreements, compromises, negotiations, clarity, insight, state of mind, empathy, understanding the deeper meaning/purpose/issue, listening, hearing, understanding/comprehension, anger management, prejudice, assumptions, rules/laws, fate, timing

Of these, many agreed that time, money, energy, clarity, integrity, and state of mind have a lot to do with how they make their decisions. Then we discussed how people made their decisions:

flip a coin
guess
take the thoughts and feelings of others into consideration
consider your own self worth, value
check it against your personal integrity
check it against your mission statement/purpose
pick one solution where the positive outcome outweighs possible losses
accept the consequences

What is the definition of the word "decision" ? The best definition we came up with was "to solve problems by selecting one course of action from several possible alternatives". We then looked at the word "choice" and its definition as "options considered for a decision". It was important to define these words to help us better understand the process.

Why are some decisions easier than others?

The group discussed this issue and found that decisions that effected others were harder for them. Some said that decisions involving money were also hard. We then looked at what happens when we put off a decision.

the item grows; becomes a monster
intensifies
overwhelms us
makes it harder to make a decision
sabotages us
dominos onto everything and everyone else around us
effects health
effects attitude
effects relationships

What do we get when we make a decision?

energy
commitment
happy
excited about life
stimulated to make more
courage
support
faith in self and others
health
sleep
better relationships

In Cheryl Richardson's book, Life Makeovers, some chapters deal specifically with the issue of making decisions and relate to this topic. In Week 12, Give Your Brain a Vacation, she talks about the process of assigning the "analytical" part of your brain to do the "research" of problem solving while the rest of your brain gets on with the daily activities. This has worked beautifully for those who have used it. For example, when faced with a lawsuit over repairs on her apartment, Ruth used this technique and made an appointment with her analytical brain to discuss the suit in two weeks. She went on with the rest of her life over the next two weeks and whenever the thoughts started creeping in, consuming her energies, she would tell her brain to stop and just handle it, and to leave her alone until their appointment. At the appointed time, she met with herself and was able to really deal with the issues, and her analytical brain was ready for her. Instead of whirling and clicking over the issue, distracting herself from her work and life, she freed the rest of her brain to concentrate on what was important at the moment and set the worrying aside until we was ready to "handle it". Our brains are incredibly powerful and we use so little of it, this is a great way to start taking advantage of some of its multi-tasking abilities.

In Week 18, Cheryl writes about focusing your energy. She tells of making a decision and then as she sat down to write it out, another thought popped into her head, then another, and each one seemed to be just as important, and before she knew it, she had lost all interest and enthusiasm in the first idea, and in fact had forgotten about it completely. Our inability to focus causes distractions which pull us apart in a variety of directions, making it hard to get anything done. By learning how to focus on one thing at a time and eliminating the distractions, our energy gets targeted instead of spread out, and we get more done. Anticipating distractions as well as eliminate them. They will pop up, so plan on them.

Week 28 tackles the important issue of "backbone". The opening quote of that chapter says, "Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results," by James Allen. Integrity is the most important of your personal priorities when it comes to living an authentic life, she explains. Whatever your standards are in life, stick to them. If you make a life commitment to not steal, then you will give back the extra change you get by mistake at the local kiosk. If your standard is to not lie or gossip, you will turn away from the rumor mill when it seeks you out. When you start to lose your "backbone", life starts crumbling around you. Living with integrity means noticing where you are not honoring your standards and do something about it. When you are facing a decision, check in with your religious, moral, personal, and life values to see if this is in line with them.

Among the many other chapters that are so helpful to the decision-making process, a favorite of mine is Week 39, Settle for More. Cheryl describes a friend of hers who flies frequently as part of his work. When he found himself in an uncomfortable seat on the plane, he debated about how to handle this. He choose extreme self care and sat down and waited until the plane was finished loading, then he went to the front and spoke quietly to the attendant. With smiles she easily found him a better seat without any stress or discomfort to the other passengers. She challenges us to take better care of ourselves and to not settle for less when we deserve it. This doesn't mean being arrogant and demanding to be put first. It does mean not settling for less when you do deserve it. For example, when was the last time you decided not to buy a piece of clothing, jewelry, or some treat thinking it was too expensive or you didn't deserve it. Sometimes you do deserve to spoil yourself, so why not? Examining the areas in your life where you are short-changing yourself. Are you in a relationship you've outgrown or that isn't good? Do you stay because of the other person or to protect their feelings and not yours? Are you taking on more work than you can possible do because you are more afraid to ask for help in your job (they might fire me) than to do a good job with what you have? Settling for more means encouraging you to become more aware of your own needs so you can treat them (and yourself) with the respect and consideration they deserve, helping you make decisions with extreme self-care a priority.

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random images, photography by Lorelle and Brent VanFossen - copyrighted

Authors, photographers, teachers, and public speakers, Lorelle and Brent VanFossen, travel extensively with their camera and pen in hand to bring you a variety of articles on nature and travel photography including basic nature photography and the photography business, writing, travel, recreational vehicles, web page design, and life on the road. All images, design, and content are copyrighted and protected by law.

You can find related articles to this topic in our Being and Life Makeovers categories. The previous post is Center of the World? and the next post is Social Connections Worksheet. The Power of Choice, Issue Number 115, by Lorelle VanFossen, was updated July 1st, 2006.